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TOP 5 WORST GIFTS EVER In the interest of research, we recently ran a survey to find out what were your worst gifts of all time, so it could act as a warning to others. Not surprisingly, one mans nightmare is another mans favourite thing, but overall these were the top 5 things we think you should avoid this Christmas, next Christmas and any other Christmas. Unless you’re planning a Den Watt’s style divorce proceedings Christmas present, in which case these will act as the perfect warm up to the main event.
Number 5 – Sticky Liquers
You know the sort of thing: Amarula, Royal Chocolate Mint Liquer, pretty much anything by Bols…they might look pretty but they sure don’t taste it, and are likely to either induce an almight hangover or a night looking down the toilet, as these only ever become enticing to drink when sense dictates you should give up and go to bed. If you want to surprise your beloved with a gift of something unusual, then opt for the very British tradition of sloe gin.
Number 4 – Singing Big Mouth Billy Bass You know the thing, its this year’s novelty must have, and it’s funny for at least the first 5 minutes. But come December 26th, you’re going to be getting killer stares for thinking this was a great present. If you live that long. Thankfully the original Big Mouth is gone, and Rocky the Lobster is soon to go the same way. If you want laughter, our advice is choose a DVD instead. Scrubs and Little Britain are likely to have you both laughing a lot longer (although, we have a sneaking suspicion we are going to find ourselves buying the racing grannies this year, report back on the 26th).
Number 3 – Cute china dogs/cats/houses This is definitely a matter of taste. Or possibly a lack of one. But our readers voted china ornaments number 3 on their list of what not to buy. What can they mean? Who wouldn’t go for this? Okay you can put your hands down now. If you want something for your home (and for your home to continue to be at least the two of you), then we would have a look at some of the stylish options on offer from the guys at Pedlars instead. Not a china dog in sight.
Number 2 – Comedy socks/ties/slippers With so many decent options around, why would you even go there? We think these are the ultimate in lazy gift shopping – just because you laugh at them on the box doesn’t mean they’re going to have the same effect on your feet. Our advice is cut straight to K J Beckett for men, and Plumo for women, and you’re likely not to be frozen out by Boxing Day.
Number 1 – Unidentified hand knitted objects Unless you are five years old and struggled to knit this yourself, then this was the number one pet hate and hands down winner for the gift no one wanted to receive. You know the sort of thing, you see it at school fetes up and down the land. Do not get talked into tea cosies, sweaters, toilet roll covers, egg cosies at any cost. If you want to stick with a made in the UK tack, then for gorgeous knits we’d choose John Smedley – still made in Derbyshire, still looking fantastic, and still going to get you in someone’s good books on Christmas Day. Consider it a gift to yourself.
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