Pretty Mild    Mild    Bad    Very Bad    Practically Unforgiveable 

Getting out the Dog House

Funny thing is, when we asked our girl friends how they got out the dog house with their menfolk, the answers were all pretty similar, and they all have that one sussed. But, as we know, women are a funny lot, and somewhat more complex.

So, if you are here and you're already in bother, or at least you will be when she finds out, then you need to work out where you are on the misdemeanour scale, and then see how our suggestions go for you.

 

 Forgotten to pick up milk/dry cleaning/dinner?

Thankfully, fairly minor offences so a good apology, plus going back for the offending items, and then maybe something fun or even nice, just to say really sorry.

Get a second opinion! 

Try: an unazukin doll

Why? Well why have one woman in the house to nag you when you can have two? She will probably agree that you have been rather silly

Shop at: Firebox

A huge box of nostalgic sweets for your sweetie 

Try: a big box of nostalgic sweets

Why? Who can resist the allure of a Sherbet Fountain and a Dib Dab? Attempt an apology over a Curly Wurly

Shop at: A Quarter Of

Wonder Woman Airbrush T for your wonder woman 

Try: a Wonder Woman T Shirt

Why? Because surely she is? So now you can show her that you really think she is!

Shop at: Truffle Shuffle

Winter Sunshine to cheer up her day 

Try: Flowers. A big beautiful bouquet of them

Why? Why not? As long as they don't come from the garage, flowers are always good

Shop at: Clare Florist for next day delivery and great design

 

Put a red sock in with the white washing or boil washed her hand wash by mistake?

Difficult one, given that you were obviously trying to be helpful, but you're still going to have to make amends. Now you can either just replace what's gone pink/shrunk beyond all belief, or you could upgrade it to a much more luxurious version of the original. If it already was a luxury item, then you'll have to upgrade the apology, and we suggest you go straight to good jewellery. Diamonds preferably.

Stunning cashmere from Denner 

Problem? Shrunk her favourite sweater

Try: Go luxe and upgrade her to cashmere

Shop at: Denner for great choice and colours

Luxury white lingerie to replace what you've turned pink 

Problem? Put a red sock in with her white underwear

Try: replacing it with a satin or lace version, as opposed to just M&S cotton

Shop at: Be Cheeky for a huge range of designs and styles, like the Flurry shown here

Spoil her with some good stuff 

Problem? You used her good stuff in the shower

Try: finding really good versions of shampoo and shower gel

Shop at: Beauty Expert, for Kevin Murphy and something like REN

 Get some decent stuff in!

Problem? You drank the last bottle of wine

Try: Getting a man to deliver champagne to the front door, pronto

Shop at: TheDrinkShop

 

Been out on too many boys nights out in row?

Best to repay this one with some girly time to herself, or doing something really nice for her, like making dinner or breakfast in bed. Or you could organise dinner for her and her girlfriends. Which will not only get you brownie points with your beloved, but one up on all the other guys in your circle of friends. Or maybe that might be former friends!

Give her some chill out time 

Step 1: send her off for some pampering

Try: Spa Finder for a huge selection of options, which you can either organise for her or just pay the money and let her choose her own delights

Shop at: Spa Finder

Get the dinner on! 

Step 2: cook dinner

Try: either cooking up some gourmet treats from scratch, or get the best take away you could wish for, delivered to the door

Shop at: Food Full Stop

Get out for a great night out! 

Step 3: arrange a great night out

Try: a night at the theatre or a gig of her choice

Shop at: Discount Theatre for all major events

Blanch House for a great trip away

Step 4: whisk her away

Try: a luxury weekend somewhere marvellous, like Blanch House

Shop at: Mr & Mrs Smith for great boutique hotels here in the UK

 

 Forgotten her birthday/your wedding anniversary/birth of your first child?

Okay, you're in fairly serious trouble now. These are really bad offences, and you know it. Bet you've been getting the silent treatment, or possible the very loud shouting, throwing of china treatment.

First, you are going to have to apologise. A lot. And very sincerely. And then not only turn out an amazing birthday/anniversary/well done on getting through labour present but also a big sorry present too. Don't wince, but it's probably going to be expensive.

Half Eternity Diamond Stack from Astley Clarke 

Try: diamonds

Why? Because nothing says sorry like very decent diamonds. Or even very indecently sized ones!

Shop at: Astley Clarke will not let you down

Buy her an amazing bag! 

Try: an expensive yet classic handbag

Why? It shouldn't be too flash, but it should show great style

Shop at: Matches or My-Wardrobe.com

Whisk her away to paradise 

Try: something more than a weekend away

Why? After what you've forgotten? Why not?

Shop at: I'd try Virgin for great service from start to finish

Beautiful fragrance for her 

Try: stunningly beautiful, unusual fragrance

Why? Because a bottle of Tweed is not going to do it

Shop at: Beauty Expert, for something like Miller Harris

You slept with her sister/mother/best friend

Oh dear, you probably don't need us to tell you that you are beyond our help. You could try all of the above, but we think it's probably a little late for this. Try these instead.

DIY Divorce Kit from Tesco 

Try: a DIY divorce kit

Why? If she says no going back

Shop at: Tesco. It's amazing what's next to the meals for one

How to Get Your Lover Back 

Try: How to Get Your Lover Back

Why? You need all the help you can get

Shop at: Waterstones

Take her away and try your hardest! 

Try: a very expensive luxurious stay away to talk things through

Why? It's easier to be slightly more conciliatory in lovely surroundings

Shop at: Mr & Mrs Smith

Try large diamonds, it may be your last resort

Try: very, very big diamonds

Why? You have to ask? See our first suggestion

Shop at: Astley Clarke

 

 

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